Self Love – Self Esteem

self-love Self-esteem

If you find your not good company for yourself, it is a sure sign that you are in need of a new and sustained mental diet. There is nothing wrong with you. I was not good company for a long long time, and so I know what I’m talking about.

“There is still time to change the road your on” – Led Zepplin

Chances are you have no idea who you truly are, and are just weighted down with a heavy burden of the past and current circumstances. All these are but appearances. These thoughts appear true, but the image they portray is incomplete.

All that is exposed to the light will become light, and it is only your self that is causing the darkness.

There is a great quote from the movie Spanglish: “Sometimes low self-esteem is just good common sense.” This is for people who are not behaving themselves. Maybe consuming too much food or drugs (yes alcohol is a drug), or caught up in any other compulsive behavior.

When we are young, we seek approval of others and are self-centered, if this is not outgrown it can turn into a negative paradigm that plays out in our lives and leads to self-avoidance, and a self-image that we are not enough. We judge ourselves and play the victim too. The victim identity is a self-defense mechanism of the ego. The ego and self-image need an adjustment.

Here is a prescription: Stop worrying about what others people are thinking of you, its none of your business anyway. This kind of self-absorbed thinking strengthens the false image and insecurity. It becomes a loop of negativity as you will never be perfect enough. What your subconscious mind doesn’t realize is that nobody is perfect. We are all perfect in our imperfection.

Stop judging yourself, diet for a while from these thoughts. If a self-condemning idea or thought should pop into your mind, have an affirmation of the truth ready to replace it. Also, start accepting your shortcomings, embrace your uniqueness.  Again, we all have shortcomings. Seek, discover and be grateful for where you are a born natural. Find a way to bless others with your gifts and stay out of your head.  Until the new self-image is established, consider your mind a bad neighborhood and stay out of it.

Don’t associate with or tolerate anyone who puts you down or makes fun of you. You likely have subconsciously sought out some of these people to make you feel comfortable. Yes, subconsciously you needed these people to feel safe, I know its weird. Also, expect to feel uncomfortable during your transition from these false old ideas of yourself to your new enlightened understanding of as all as limited in some way. You’re not as bad as you think you are.

I know people including myself that “felt less than”, that wrote down everything they felt guilty or ashamed of and went and confessed it to a closed mothed friend or priest. Only to have the other person share similar stories. Confession is good for the soul.

Most important is to build a new self-image and claim it. You have to overwrite the old immature self-image, the one you created with your limited understanding and awareness. Get with people who will love you until you can love yourself.

Other things that cut us off from feeling happy joyous and free are Resentment, Self-pity, Pessimistic Attitudes, Complaining or just Negativity in general. Adopt a new optimistic attitude and begin to expect good things. As you change your vibration good things will begin to happen for you.

“Heaven holds a place for those who pray” – Paul Simon

Write a new self-image and read it every day, several times a day. Imagine what it feels like now that you are this person, act like this person, and carry the feeling around with you, let the feeling linger. If you have problems, stop thinking about them unless there is something you can do about it. Find a way to help someone else with their problems.

“If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are”. – Mother Teresa

I once heard someone say they were an ego-maniac with an inferiority complex, and I really identified with that at the time. What I know now is that I didn’t even really know myself. I was so self-obsessed, so self-conscious I did not see the whole picture. Look at the whole picture of you. If you are like most people you have some good traits and some growing to do. Be patient with yourself, as God is not finished with you yet. As you start to see the whole picture and focus on your strengths you let the light in. Let there be light!

It would help to get with a coach or friend to help you maintain your new self-image. You are forming a new habit, and habits can be hard to form. Maybe give me a call and let me coach you up a little? There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I found that the things I once thought I would bring to the grave, turned out to be nothing in the light of day.

I highly recommend two books on this subject:

  1. The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz
  2. Psyco-Cybernetics – Maxwell Maltz

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